Sunday, January 08, 2012

8th of January

Today I was so blessed and honoured.  Today my friend asked for help.  Practical, everyday little help that I could give easily and desperately wanted to give.  If I could I would give it ten times over again and again.

As women we are set up in isolation.  Birthing, raising children, running households and lives - often we have our partners (often we may not) - and occasionally one or two friends we can call on in hard times.  Often the support we desperately need is so easy - a cleaned oven, an afternoon free from the children to collect our thoughts, to have someone else do our afternoon shopping for dinner.  But all too often (in fact, all the time) we don't ask for that help.  No-one else does, right?  So that must mean we're failing if we need it.  So we don't ask.  And we get tired, run-down, isolated even more from those we see as 'managing' and further away from our goals of getting on top of things ourselves.

Supporting each other requires a chain of support to us as well.  Today I was able to help my friend because James wanted to help her as well (and wanted to help me to help her) - and to do that he knew he had to parent solo for the afternoon.  And to parent solo he needed the children to understand that I wouldn't be there.

Ted was upset and started to cry that he didn't want me to go.  And Harriet quickly leaned over and said to him "Hey Teddy, would you like to play the baby game with mashed banana and milk again?".  It is a game they've played the last two mornings, where Harriet feeds her baby mashed banana and a little cup of milk, and then does the same to Ted (with the baby and Ted both wearing bibs).

He enthusiastically agreed and the cycle of support was begun.  This was the only real photo I took today, snapped as I walked out the door.  Probably not in focus.  Exposure all over the place. 

But it's important for all of us to remember.

To offer and offer help.
And then to ask and ask for it.

Because it is such a gift to be asked.


JennieMo said...

Casserole and ever need know to call! Don't even hesitate a second. I'll blow this taco stand in a heart beat if your need 10minutes of fresh air....a movie night...and date night or a rock your socks of night. Laundry ironed...or whateva! Luv ya!

jay said...

oh what a beautiful and necessary post, thank you. and go harriet, james and teddy for completing that chain of support, so wonderful. love

casso said...

Jennie you totally crack me up! I can just imagine you whipping out your cape from underneath your blood-soaked coveralls and yelling SUPER JENNIE! To the rescue! And arriving here with a cooked meal, movie tickets and shooshing us out the door asap. You are adorable and I love you!

Kimberley said...

Beautiful. I'm so pleased your friend asked for help, and that you were able to give it. Just beautiful.
I'm loving these daily posts. I do not know how you find the time, but they're gorgeous.

Lou said...

Damn you Cass, you've made me cry! Xx