Homebirth

We deal a lot with birthing and pregnancy and babies in general in house. Doll is, of course, the constant sun around which this all spins, but it can be attributed to any random doll that Harry takes a shine to really. Today it was the incredible and amazing realisation that she could have TWINS! Oh yes people, two babies at the same time. Here she is demonstrating her massive belly. She loves having this belly (she called this twin belly her 'enormous' belly, which was a step up from her normal 'massive' belly with just one baby in it). She was demonstrating to me how she can only do modified versions of her yoga poses, and then she did a little waddle. Actually it is no little waddle, this is theatrics of the highest order, where she hangs her arms like dead weights behind her as she lurches from side to side with the dolls wobbling across her as she walks.

I have said it before and I'll say it again - we will be the only grandparents with one child and ten grandchildren.

Things Heard Today

"I have a dead body in my bag" - said many, many times very loudly in our local shopping centre today after the monster incident below.

"There's a monster that lives in there, so be careful Mama. If you get up close you can hear him talking. I have a bag that has written on it 'For Monsters Only' so I can put him in here." - the monster 'lives in' the bins underneath the fruit and vegetable display tables and Harry is fascinated by them every time we go to this particular greengrocer. She pulled off a plastic bag, ran her finger across it as she read out the 'For Monsters Only' part and then proceeded to put the monster in the bag. Then we put Doll in the bag so that other people could see the monster. And this monster eats capsicum (that was my suggestion because we had some in the trolley).

"I love Nana Grandpa so much!" What do you love about them Harry? They are SO CUTE!" - and then she got all smoochy and giggly because we were talking about NanaGrandpa.

Parenting on a Rollercoaster

Where to start?!


On Monday two weeks ago, we were at the park with our mothers' group when Harriet alerted me to the fact that Finn, a friend's daugher's doll, had been left behind. No problem-o, we took Finn home and Harry gave him a few adventures, we wrote a note to his Mama and the next day dropped him back at his real home. Harry had, however, become highly attached to Finn and although she knew that he belonged to TL, was quite crestfallen when we had to return him.

So to basically encourage my own desire, I thought that if we headed to the Cat Protection op shop, we might be able to find a little doll there that Harry would like (because of course she is so bereft of dolls in her own home). I LOVE the CP op shop, it is the best one in Newtown and always has some incredible gems there, amazing considering that it is such a small space.

So Harry walked in, walked straight to the doll bucket, picked up this doll that can *gasp* close her eyes and *swoon* is holding her own bottle THAT CAN FIT IN HER MOUTH people, and just could not stop playing with her. It was almost as if she was entranced, the doll had bewitched her. "Aw, how sweet' I (naively) thought. I bought the doll and a jumper and we went on to spend the afternoon running into a friend and going to a new music class. We went home, where Harry played non-stop with her newfound love, and we all went to bed.


NOT FOR LONG!


Harriet woke up at 2am and just could not stop playing with this damn doll! For the next two hours (no, you did not read that incorrectly) this child fluttered the eyelids, clapped the hands and basked in the pitch black glory of this doll (I refused to turn the light on, in fact I was so tired from being up late proofing that I could barely acknowledge what was going on, but it was enough to stop me from being able to sleep).

So we both woke up the next morning in less than wonderful moods, but I can handle a night of minimal sleep without a problem, so we kept on with our scheduled day which was to meet up with the gorgeous Miss Rosa who is now about 6wks old I think. Harry spent a lot of her time there putting 'milk bottle doll' in Rosa's bouncer, in Rosa's hammock, placing a towel over her shoulder like Rachel did for 'milk bottle doll's spews'...you get the picture.

Get to bedtime, everyone is exhausted, Early nights all round. But then, on rolls 2am...and again she is *bewitched*! The same process is played out from the night before except I am grumpier and keep saying to her "It is NIGHT Harriet, go. To. SLEEP.". Finally exhaustion overcomes her and we get to sleep again...but not before two hours has passed (what is with this girl and 2am? She has a lifetime history of waking up at 2am).


The next morning she wakes up and despite needing to get things done during the day, she refuses to leave the house. Arrrhhh!

The next week plays out as a nightmare of upsets and screaming fits. Is there a doll that won't fit perfectly on to her allocated seat? Then one must throw one's body to the floor, screaming in anguish at the maladies of the world that lie upon one's shoulders, the injustice of it all, how we can operate in such a cold hard world is beyond anyone's comprehension. I was also wondering at how any parent could be calm, rational and supportive during such an onslaught of obvious stress and worry on their child. She seemed to be caught within a cycle of behaviour that she couldn't claw her way out of (despite at times seeiming to *want* to be different).

I tried consciouly to employ some Playful Parenting techniques to help me maintain (acquire?) some sanity and give Harry some positive experiences in her day. On the weekend I asked James to trim my hair. Notice the verb I used there? Well James misheard me and thought I said 'remove' my hair. Anyway when he went to cut my hair, Harry became hysterically upset about it (just one thing in a long line of things really). But here was something I could help with! So as you can see from the photos, I got Doll, sat her in a chair, cloaked her in the cover from the clipper set, cut some fringing onto a piece of paper and stuck it around her head. Harry could barely believe this activity - she had a BLAST! In fact for the first time in about a week she played on her own for upwards of twenty minutes. Honestly! James and I were in shock! We did have to cut a second piece of 'hair' but that was all we heard from her in that time. If you have a toddler at home I can highly recommend this activity for some time when you need to do something for fifteen minutes on your own!

We went to Linda and Kicka's engagement party on Saturday and had a great time, although Harriet was still out of sorts and we ended up leaving a little earlier than we really wanted to (heck, we could have stayed on to watch the AC/DC cover band at the local pub too given half a chance). It was as we were leaving that both James and I noticed that Harry was spiking a bit of a temp. Ah Ha! It's always in hindsight that illness becomes apparent as the interfering meddler that it can be.

So the past week has seen all of us come down with varying levels of viral infection. It has meant even more nights of disrupted sleep (me not being able to breathe through my nose, what joy, Harry coughing, james....well, James has been fine with sleep!) and less than perfect days. I have to admit here, on the blog, that for the third time in Harriet's life I yelled at her. Yep. I felt terrible about it. Horrid. But when I think back on the situation the overwhelming sensation I have is of exhaustion. I just remember feeling so completely exhausted at being really quite sick myself, dealing with a sick and highly cranky child all day and not having any relief (James is in Melbourne for two days and one night a week) that I can give myself a little break. Not much of course, but I am only human!


But on Thursday we both felt a lot better and made the effort to go to playgroup at Lennox House with Ruby (oh and Nadia and Tessa too!). We both felt fantastic after a play there, then the girls had a run around while Nadia and I actually got to chill out and chat for a bit together (almost unheard of with Harry around). Friday was even better in the morning but was met with some crankiness in the afternoon when Kristy came over (sporting her deliciously beautiful, small and perfect baby belly!).

Move on to today. Oh today how I loved you! Today was one of the most beautiful, wonderful, happy, glorious, perfect days we have all had together in recent memory. It started less than perfectly with a 6am wake-up (it was dark outside people - dark!). But Harry was in a great mood and chattering away about all of her dolls and making up elaborate stories (more about this later). We decided to head over to Orange Grove Organic Markets and boy am I glad we did. Harriet was in raptures about the pony rides, I was in raptures about buying a whole new winter wardrobe of truly beautiful clothes for her for the grand total of about $20 (seriously, I doubt this child has had more than a handful of new clothes in her life, second hand is just soooo much better), and James...ok well poor James missed out on a special surprise today (but hey, remember last paragraph where he got all that sleep people? C'mon, give me a break!).

I also ran into Leigh who I haven't seen for absolutely ages and was stoked to see again. Harriet was beside herself becaue we bought a box of FP Little People for her. To be honest our choice in this matter was directed heavily by Harriet (read: she saw the box, proceeded to pull out each piece and play with it one by one in the middle of the stall). But wow, what a greta buy it has been. That $15 has already bought us about two HOURS (yes, you are reading correctly) of independent play from Miss H. Not all in a row to be sure, about one hour of it was continuous, but she can sit there and play elaborate narratives with these people for longer than anything that has come before.

Then it was on to lunch at Satellite, but not before I picked up a couple of shirts from a garage sale in Hordern St amid giggling, and exhortations of "YOU'RE the crazy one!" from Harriet atop Papa's shoulders. I had my fave fave fave dish there (it's this brown rice thing with grated apple, cranberries, soy milk, apricots...sounds weird but wow, it is incredible and yes Georgia, it is the one I had when we went there ages ago) and then on to do a photo shoot on the North Shore. The whole way there and back Harry was playing with those Little People.

Best. $15. Dollars. Ever.

Now that Harriet is in bed I just look back on a day that was honestly jam-packed with squeezes, exclamations of "I REALLY love you Mama!" accompanied by an amazing nearly-three-year-old squishing her face into me with so much love that it hurts my heart to write about it. She laughed so much all day it was great to see her just so lighthearted and enjoying our presence. Normally I get shafted on Saturday mornings and Papa gets the love, so this morning I had mentally prepared myself to go for a run when we got up. But today she was giving me heaps of affection as well as Papa. Yay!

There has definitely been a *huge* change in her. She makes up quite complex narratives for her figures to operate within. For example tonight they were all on their bikes to go to King St to buy some more bikes. On the way they saw a kangaroo - "They never seen a kangaroo before on King St so they stop to play with it. It is the Mama kangaroo and the Papa kangaroo is off at work" -what work does he do Harry?- "(not missing a beat) Oh some kangaroo work, you know". She had her doll on her lap and was reading her a book (just a pretend one) "Once there was a rat. He was at home and then a monster came. But the rat was asleep so the monster went away. The End." (this one was the one that really floored me because it was such an effortless story that actually had a beginning, middle and end and is not anything like any of her books that we read to her). And after all of that pronoun confusion earlier in her life, she can now use pronouns correctly when telling a story from someone else's point of view (she may have been able to do this earlier but not until recently has she started saying stories from another character's point of view).

Case in point: She had the tongs, aka 'the snappy crocodile'. The snappy crocodile eats other baby crocodile tails for dinner so he needs to live very quietly in the pond [this is almost direct quotes from her]. But the cool thing was when she said, whilst moving the tongs, "I can see her hokkien noodles and now I am thinking they are delicious too! SNAP!" and snapping up the hokkien with the tongs. This seemed pretty complex to me, almost like empathy?

But of course she is full of wonderful little turns of phrase that I need to start writing down again (now that I am not ready to rip my own head off with stress that is). Still no word on her school entry - we'd just love to actually *know*. But for now I guess I'll just enjoy hanging around with this amazing, sweet, wonderful child. Of course if I had written this entry earlier in the week.....

Stuff Of Course

So I haven't blogged for a looonnngggg time. Whoops. And I have nothing to offer except that we've been living a happy, quiet life for the most part. Of course life with Harry is definitely never quiet, we're just living somewhere on that continuum at the moment.

We haven't watched tv since we've lived in this house, so what's that? About 18mths now. It's just this big piece of furniture that the lounge looks at. And since most of the time I'm sitting on the lounge it is actually a car travelling to some distant destination (after having been properly restrained with seatbelts and 'ties' from Harriet) I find myself looking at it quite a bit.

When I do happen to glimpse tv I realise just how stupid it is. I'm no high-falutin' intellectual type, but my god tv caters to the lowest common denominator. Not even that but the assault on the senses is just horrid - loud noises that have no purpose except to make you buy stuff. Flashing lights designed to make you buy stuff. Fast editing to make you want to buy stuff. I mean really, how much stuff can people need? There was an article in a Sunday paper recently (don't judge me people, we have tried to get them to stop delivering the damn Suday paper to us but they just *don't stop*, it's like the Liberal Party) and it told me that by not allowing Harry to watch tv that we're depriving her of the ability to follow a narrative.


Uh oh. Poor child, she's going to be deprived alright. No idea about a narrative and all. Those poor indigenous cultures whose oral history was obviously a farce, deluding themselves that without a television they somehow managed to scrape together an understanding of how a narrative functions. We'll swap the hours that we spend reading books and chatting together so that she can sit in front of the box while I chat on some forums in another room. Now there's a great way to learn about narrative, some marketing company trying to get my daughter to buy stuff.

Ok, mini rant over. Sorry, but it's just bugging me of late for some reason. Also not being able to find a reasonable, informed voice about vaccination out there. I can't seem to find people who aren't rabidly pro- or anti- the thing. All I want to do is discuss the idea of delayed vaccination and vaccine brands and their ingredients. Do you think this is easy to find? Apparently people only want to discuss something if there's the chance for complete warfare to occur.

In other news, Harry has gone through a rather tricky phase of being really, really, REALLY difficult. It's hard to describe exactly what she was doing but it basically involved her never stopping. Ever. And she was really clingy and demanding. Then, almost as soon as I reached breaking point (after two solid weeks of unrelenting demands), she turned the corner and started going off into other rooms with other children, hanging out with Papa without me needing to be nearby, saying goodbye to me as I went out to see friends with narry a tear, that kind of thing. WOW! It has been a huge transformation in her social nature and has just been wodnerful to see. I have this theory that as soon as you get desperate and stressed enough about some aspect of parenting that you start talking about it with others, your child seems to sense your own need for change and turns that new milestone themselves. Well at least that is what Harry has consistently done!

So what is she doing now? Well I guess the biggest difference is that she can extemporise on a variety of imaginary topics. Today for example, we were doing some gardening (bye bye trees!). James asked Harriet what she had in her hand or something similar. Harry then started on a long discussion (completely one-sided) abouthow she was saving the item for her friend who lived in another country and that she didn't know about it and Harriet would show her later on when she flew over there.... or something....of course she may have actually been hallucinating from all the aeroplane exhaust fumes.

One of the big things in Harriet's life is her toddler yoga. I should really be on my hands and knees grovelling with thanks to Jade for organising it. Because not only is it specific to toddlers and Harry's coordination does seem to have improved from it, not only does she love it, but she is in love with the teacher. Completely and utterly. We went to playgroup one day and Sarah was there with her charge, a little one year old boy. Harry was nearly struck dumb with speechless wonder and love (kind of like how I am if Bernie is in the room). That is until she started showing Sarah her favourite toys adn dolls and asking her to watch her crawl through the slide and asking her to watch as she dug a hole in the sand and asking her to hold her socks. It was like parenting by proxy - no need for me to be there per se, although it was handy to have someone watching the baby as Harriet engaged his carer on other biting tasks such as reading the rainbow book (it has ribbons inside it and Harry lurves this book!). But yes, in summary Harry and yoga is a wonderful combination. If anyone is in the inner west of Sydney, has a walking child under the age of five who wants to come along, then please do! It is so much fun!

But as per usual, the end result of all of my experience with Harry is that we honestly do have a lot of fun with her. Today at lunch she sat there and ate about ten crackers with pickled onion on them. Just like me. And she needs to read books when she's on the toilet. Just like Papa. And she uses her hands quite a bit when she talks. Just like me. But most of the time she is just so utterly and completely Harriet. For example yesterday we were at Ruby's birthday party. Ruby would have to be Harry's best friend; they share their toys without (too many) issues. They even negotiate with each other (small digression here: the other day they both desperately wanted to go on the baby swing at the park [well Harry wanted to put Doll in it and swing her, whilst Ruby wanted to go in it herself] Harry, ever the negotiator, touched Ruby on the arm and said "Hey Ruby, how about if we both take turns of pushing my Doll in the swing? I don't mind if you do that you know". To which Ruby replied "No, Ihow about you go in the big swing instead" - now isn't it cute that they were both discussing this amongst themselves? It was so adorable to see them standing there talking like that).

But anyway, yesterday at Ruby's party Ruby was running off and was anxious to be anywhere but her own party. Harriet was constantly running after her saying "No Ruby! Come back! Your Mummy and the party are back in this direction, you need to turn around!" and then she would catch up to Ruby (quite a feat in itself!) and gently turn her around so that she was walking back to where the party was. There were bubbles, there was a cake, loads of other children and perfect autumnal afternoon weather. When we were home and getting ready for bed, I asked Harriet what her favourite part of the day had been. She replied "Running all around the hill with Ruby". Awwwww.... It's just so funny because these two are absolutely chalk and cheese yet (or should that be 'therefore'?) they get on so well!


Here are a couple of grinning faces for you! I've been so crazy busy doing work for the business I'm setting up that I haven't had much time for other stuff really. I am starting on The Amber Spyglass, which is the final book in the Northern Lights trilogy. For someone who doesn't liek sci-fi or fantasy books, I have been smitten with this series, it is a wonderful read! What a shame the movie based on the first book was so horrendous. I am also in the process of knitting a scarf - well it was going to be for Ruby's birthday but to be honest I think by the time it's finished she'll be taller than the scarf so it might end up being one to stay within the family. There are one or two (or quite a few more than that even) imperfections in the knitting that no-one should have to ever be made grateful for receiving. At least if it stays at home Harry doesn't have to pretend to actually wear it, like Ruby might be asked to because Nadia is too polite to hand it back, pinched betwixt forefinger and thumb, with the look of abject horror it so rightly deserved. Poor malformed scarf! I shall love your misshapen ways even when no-one else shall.

And on that note, I'll adjourn to bed. Happy Mother's Day to all. I am the proud owner of a burnt orange coloured hoodie, which is exactly what I wanted.

Sorry!

Ok yet again this has lapsed but this was just TOO funny not to share. We were just lying on the lounge playing a game when Harry did a stinky fart. I said to her "Did you do a fart?". And she giggled and said "Yes, but they have to come out because the farts are my poos talking to me".

HA!

Have long post in progress so will post that up when I get a chance, have just been mega busy with proofing shoots.